I Demand Retribution. Or Justice. Or Something. Will Settle For Having 2011 Back.

Posted on 09/12/2011 by


Rick: It was me. I did it while you were sleeping.
Me: Oh come on, what are the odds of that happening?
Rick: Not good? Okay, I knocked you out.
Me: You actually think you could get away with that?
Rick: I’m a ninja.
Me: And you think I wouldn’t notice the concussion when I woke up? I’ve been concussed before. I know what it feels like.
Rick: I could have drugged you.
Me: That’s a bit of a risk, isn’t it? You never know how I’m going to react to drugs.
Rick: Why do you think you can’t remember November?
Me: Well — I — I bet I could remember November if I really tried!

I have to confess that on Wednesday I did my first sort of acknowledge-the-existence-of-the-holidays thing. Mostly because about six people stared at me and demanded in unison that I did it. I thought it might have a cascade affect, but it turns out I’m still in denial.

I don’t know if it’s just that I’m not ready for the holidays to happen because I’m not as far along in my work as I’d like to be, or because the idea of all that socialising is filling my tired soul with terrified fatigue. Perhaps I need to take some time off before the holidays to recruit my strength? …there’s something wrong with that plan. Right now I really can’t put my finger on it though.

I’d probably fear the coming holidays less if I was better prepared for them, but for some reason I can’t convince myself to do anything about it. This is probably because the part of my brain that would say things like, “You’re running out of time. You should get on that” is really hard to hear over the other part of my brain that’s screaming, “NO! NO! IT’S NOT DECEMBER! SHUT UP!”

Honestly, whoever is responsible for this whole ‘it’s December’ situation, I think you should own up right now. Give the rest of the year back and no more will be said about it. (It wasn’t Rick. He’s a really terrible liar. But someone has to be responsible. These things don’t just happen on their own you know.)


Posted in: Kandace