What Happened to the Weekend? I Was USING That.

Posted on 15/08/2011 by

3


Jared*: I may or may not be marathoning MLP
Me: bwahahaha. Although… given what I spent the weekend doing I should maybe not laugh.
Jared: hahaha. What have you been doing?
Me: Er… I refuse to answer on the grounds that I might incriminate myself? Suffice to say it has something to do with the website ‘texts from last night’, a fansite about x-men and a deep exploration of our liquor cabinet. Claire actually came over to our house around 10pm last night cause she heard me bitching over Paul’s headset about the fact that we didn’t have any rum.

Most of the time I don’t really drink. And when I say ‘I don’t really drink’ I don’t mean ‘I don’t drink heavily’ I mean, there are times when I can’t remember the last time I drank something alcoholic and if you started counting in months it would not be inappropriate. (Years even if you don’t count assorted randomness. I don’t think ‘here have a taste of this, see what you think’ really counts. Half a blue smurf cocktail probably does though…)

But on Saturday night I decided to crawl through my liquor cabinet. For one thing, there’s so much alcohol in there you can’t close the doors anymore. And for another, I was looking for a very specific burn.

Me: Heh. This is how Arkem got sucked down the black hole of pony joy. Here I am: NOT ENOUGH HOURS IN THE DAY, and you’re all: nothing to do… ponies, ponies, ponies… I will have to tell the world.
Jared: Pfft, you have plenty of hours, you just fill them with X-Men slash, or whatever it is you were doing last night
Me: Was not! Or… well, yes, okay, that was part of it. But not the LARGER part. And the drinking was RESEARCH. It just unaccountably made the boys gleeful and join me.
Jared: If drinking was research I’d have a PhD too.

The genius about research really is anything is research if you then write about it. More so if you intend to write about it. Or if you’re trying to find something so you can write about it. I have, for instance, always vaguely wanted to be shot so I’d know what it felt like. But, you know, there are issues with trying that. It may even be illegal. Although I don’t know… if you shoot yourself maybe that’s okay?

Me: *Am not giggling maniacally right now.* For serious. Also totally not writing a blog posting outing you and your pony fetish.
Jared: NOT A FETISH
Me: Sure, sure. Is what you say
Jared: I do not think you know what that word means, Kandace.
Me: An inanimate object worshiped for its supposed magical powers or because it is considered to be inhabited by a spirit?
No wait. A course of action to which one has an excessive and irrational commitment?
That one. Although you know, this too:
A form of sexual desire in which gratification is linked to an abnormal degree to a particular object, item of clothing, part of the body, etc.
Jared: Ok fine so there are multiple meanings. You know which one people most commonly associate with it though.
Me: yeah *evil grin*. Now I want to make a whole separate post about it. Okay, and fetishes in general. Oh god, my brain needs to be STOPPED. Nah TOO MUCH AWESOME

Incidentally, I am not, since people have asked, inebriated. But sleep deprivation often presents much the same way and I am that. SO THERE. Also, apparently, four years old. Look! A pony!

I'm a Pony now. Ponies are Cool.
* I was going to to have his name redacted to protect the guilty, but then I decided nah, which I accept makes me a bad person. I did not entitle this post ‘Jared and His Pony Fetish’, so, you know, I’m still good. Right?