Browsing All Posts published on »March, 2012«

Carpe Diem, Quan Minimum Credula Postero*

March 19, 2012 by

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Me: I haven’t sent anything out this year because I’m crap. Arkem: I wouldn’t have put it that way — but yes. So I am doing that today. Or at least, lying about doing that today. But I think — I hope I’m not. And if I write this here perhaps the appalling fact that […]

Dawn of the Metatext…

March 16, 2012 by

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There have been a few articles of late regarding publishers and how they act with libraries (see: Penguin removing their ebooks from library catalogues, in response to Amazon’s Kindle Lending Service, ouch!) And of most interest is Techdirt’s article, Libraries Are The Best Counter To Piracy… So Of Course Publishers Are Trying To Limit Them. In it, […]

If I Don’t Write to Empty My Mind I Go Mad — Lord Byron

March 16, 2012 by

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Rick: What are you doing? Me: I’m insulting myself in text. Silence. Me: You’re just not going to touch that one, are you? Rick: You’re writing your blog for tomorrow? Me: …yes? Rick: It all makes sense. I have been in the middle of an explosion for like a week now. It’s making me edgy. […]

I Have This Theory That All the Best Things in Life Are as Terrifying as They Are Brilliant. Love. Children. Freedom. Choices. Deep Fried Mars Bars.

March 15, 2012 by

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I am innately cautious. I like to think things through. To consider the consequences. To make fully informed decisions, aware of the pros and cons and possible outcomes. I see a motorbike and I see the world blurring past at speed, I feel the hum of the motor through the warm metal between my legs, […]

Make Everything Okay?

March 14, 2012 by

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Game called on account of massive power outage. So instead of working I’m going to spend the day lying on my floor eating cookies. Or reading those paper things. What are they called? Books? If your day is throwing you as much as mine try clicking this link. It will make everything better. At least […]

Most Creative Use of A Staple Remover OR, What Was He About to Do With the Manual of Style?

March 13, 2012 by

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I was going to write something intelligent today. It was going to be interesting, maybe exciting and in no way related to questioning the morals of juice. But then I thought, what today really needs is invisible fight scene jokes.  

This Juice is Deeply Conflicted and Will Leave You Feeling Vaguely Unsettled

March 12, 2012 by

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THAT’S LIKE GOING TO THE SUPERMARKET AND SEEING YOUR FAVORITE AISLE OF JUICE, THEN ON ONE OF THE BOTTLES THE PRICE TAG SAYS “THIS IS THE WORST JUICE IN THE WORLD, IT HAS NO CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT AND IT’S A WHORE.”   So I saw this, and skipping right over what I thought of its original […]

Because I Was Asked. The Difference Between a Writer and a Storyteller is This:

March 9, 2012 by

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A writer writes, a storyteller* tells. The answer is there in the question. The word ‘storyteller’ can refer to any kind of wordsmith or storyweaver, but in this context I mean a person who gathers others around them and weaves a tale out the air with their voice and their hands and their eyes. And, […]

Telling Stories For Children

March 8, 2012 by

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I really shouldn’t tell stories to children. Even seven year olds. It’s not that the incidence of violence and mayhem is a problem. It’s the way they tell me I’m doing it wrong. Me: I’m actually a terrible storyteller, but I can frame an anecdote so it sounds even better than it actually was. Except […]

An Appeal to Anyone Experiencing Impending Parenthood

March 7, 2012 by

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Arkem: Did you know that I’m leaving tomorrow? Me: That’s very sad. (Sad face. Thinks.) Don’t. Arkem: Well played. You are a master of strategy. I am going to tell you a story. It starts here: I am officially down by one Paul. At least in terms of geographical convenience. I took him to the […]