I Have This Theory That All the Best Things in Life Are as Terrifying as They Are Brilliant. Love. Children. Freedom. Choices. Deep Fried Mars Bars.

Posted on 15/03/2012 by


I am innately cautious. I like to think things through. To consider the consequences. To make fully informed decisions, aware of the pros and cons and possible outcomes.

I see a motorbike and I see the world blurring past at speed, I feel the hum of the motor through the warm metal between my legs, the adrenaline spike. And I feel the scrape of asphalt as it shreds my arm, taste copper on my tongue, the sick nausea of concussion dragging me off centre.

I think about getting a tattoo and I see the dark ink curling over translucent skin crossing vivid blue veins, and I see myself flip through a dozen futures till I’m wrinkled and that skin is tissue paper fragile and the only thing those possible worlds have in common is black ink pressed under my skin.

I get on a plane and I picture the beauty of the world outside the window at thirty thousand feet. And I consider what it will be like if the plane goes down. How it’ll feel to be falling, the haphazard loss of gravity adding to the surreal panic of the moment. Screaming. Roar of wind in my ears. Fear. Would it be drowning? Burning? Death on impact maybe?

Have I mentioned that I love to fly?

Seeing all the possibilities doesn’t stop you doing things. It just means you’re not making decision based purely on the hope that the outcome you want is the one you’ll get. You think about the options. Consider the odds. Make the best play possible. And then you roll the dice.

I am practical. I am careful. I like to make plans. But you know what they say about plans. And I’m also a little bit of an adrenaline junkie.

So there have been a few times in my life when I’ve thought it through, seen the logical outcome and nevertheless chosen the ill-advised course; where the odds said it was a disaster waiting to happen, but I did it anyway

And the thing is, those times when I jumped two-feet, eyes closed, blind into the unknown — those are some of the very best decisions I have ever made.

I am not advocating that people jump without looking. I am always going to want to know all the details in advance. But I also know that sometimes I need to be brave. Sometimes I have to do the thing that scares me. Sometimes I have to jump.

Roll the dice, hold my hand and jump, and we will tempt fate together.

Image of two dice rolling in mid-flight

Posted in: Kandace