In case any of you were wondering about this ‘Hunger Games’ thing you keep hearing about, here is a summary to save you having to read the book. (Although you should read the book too, it’s not bad. Apart from the bit at the <redacted>. You know?)
Here is an excerpt to get you excited about the whole thing:
The Hunger Games: Yo, I turn out to be a state-mandated fight to the death—
The Hunger Games: Between unwilling and randomly chosen victims—
The Hunger Games: Who are children—
The Hunger Games: Whose chances of competition are increased by how many extra times their starving selves put their name into the drawing for survival food to feed their families!
Me: W H A T
The Hunger Games: Oh, and we’re broadcast on live television, to entertain the people and also subdue them with the reminder that we can take their children and have them slaughtered at any time.
Me: WOW, THIS IS SUPER NOT THE LIGHT-HEARTED AWESOME LADY HUNTRESS STORY I WAS ANTICIPATING
The Hunger Games: We get that a lot.
* In this instance you should probably read ‘me’ as Jizzy, just so you don’t get confused. Otherwise you might think I’ve suddenly developed an irrational dislike for possums or something.