I killed someone. I feel kind of badly about it. Actually, I killed them on Friday. But I only started to feel really guilty about it today. Well, maybe ‘conflicted’ is a better word.
I keep telling myself he wasn’t very nice, but it doesn’t help. Because when I had my characters kill him they didn’t know that. He was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.
I know what my characters are doing is right. But… it’s like… okay, imagine they’re breaking in somewhere. And the place they’re breaking into is controlled by some fairly bad guys. But the people who’re working for them don’t really know that. Maybe they suspect it, maybe they’ve got no idea. But they’re not bad themselves.
And it’s one of those guys my heroes stabbed in the throat. They’re feeling less than entirely heroic at the moment.
Which, actually, is part of the point of the book. But this is the first time it’s felt kind of… dirty.
But while one part of my brain is busy yelling at me, there’s another part going straight to the war crimes section of my arsenal and muttering, “Just following orders is not a justification. How could they not know? Half the army deserted already. They know.”
So. I guess… my heroes probably didn’t think too much of anyone who was still following orders so it’s okay that they killed him?
I don’t know. It still feels wrong. To outnumber, overwhelm and then hide the body… of a guy who’s wearing the uniform of an ally. Where stands loyalty in this?
I think I need to go back into that scene and… I don’t know. Be guilty about it.
Kandace Mavrick
Paul McLaughlan
platform thing 
arkayspark
14/06/2012
I think Wizards is getting to be R rated! Not only violence but adult themes… Shades of grey!
Kandace Mavrick
14/06/2012
Actually this happened in the second book of Path,… Heh. *shifty eyes*
David
14/06/2012
It is hard to justify killing a bit-part character who was following the evil herd mentality?
That is a very hard perspective to make sense of, as it seems a mobius loop.
Does watching ‘Dexter’ help with the ‘good guy doing bad things, bad guy doing good things’ argument?
Kandace Mavrick
14/06/2012
It really is problematic. Dexter is interesting. I’ve only seen the first couple of seasons but they seemed to put some real effort into convincing you that the people he was killing were genuinely bad people.
The situation I have here…. my characters’ motivations are good, but to achieve their goals they have to get past these minion characters and… I don’t know. I have trouble seeing minions as a faceless horde.
Also, I think it’s harder because they’re MY characters. I can watch Bond slaughter minions left, right and center and not be bothered, but my guys… they’re very real to me. I don’t like seeing them make dubious choices. Even when… argh! I keep trying to convince myself what they did was okay. But there’s this other part of my mind muttering, “Yeah, as soon as you start justifying it you know something’s gone wrong.”
David
14/06/2012
Indeed. Characters you create yourself become your quasi-children.
There is always the ‘greater good’ argument. A line I liked in ‘Top Gun’ was “do not fire until fired upon”. If it’s self-preservation when a minion attacks, your characters have the argument of not wanting to do it but the alternative (death) was worse.
Your book series is entitled “Path”? Dagnabbit, in my seven book series all the titles start with “Path of…”. Great minds hey? I promise I didn’t plagiarise, it just proves there is nothing new in the world =P
Kandace Mavrick
14/06/2012
Self-defence is wonderful, but when you’re the one breaking in somewhere the lines start to get fuzzy again. I mean, the bad guys are just defending their home… right?
The series is called Path of the Monster, Path for short. The book where I’m currently killing quasi-innocent soldiers is called The Road to Hell.
David
14/06/2012
Well, whether you kill them or not depends on the technology of the time I imagine. Could you get away with neuralysers? Saw it in ‘Iron Man’ recently, and something similar in ‘The Avengers’.
Kandace Mavrick
14/06/2012
It’s interesting, because there are a number of places where I’ve had them take people out without killing them, and I thought about doing that here too, but it seems like that’s kind of a cop-out. They were willing to kill to do this. I almost feel like I should be highlighting the ambiguity of what they’re doing.
(I love what they did with that in The Avengers with Loki muttering, “That usually works…”)
David
14/06/2012
The ‘small things’ in that movie sold it for me. but that’s what Joss Whedon is known for.
*SPOILER ALERT *
– ‘Iron Man’ wearing a Black Sabbath t-shirt.
– Hulk punching out Thor AFTER they defeated some aliens
– Hulk pounding Loki, then muttering “Puny God!” (Loki’s sell of the beating also ruled)
Kandace Mavrick
14/06/2012
Oh those first two! I squeaked about the Black Sabbath shirt and one of my friends was like, “Why is that cool?” And I went, “…it’s possible I pay too much attention?” But no! It was cool! And Hulk, Thor and Loki — I love the interactions of those three. The two gods talk to the Hulk like he’s a regular person and he has no qualms about thumping them. Good times 🙂
David
14/06/2012
Attention to detail = respect.
What I read was true; less Hulk and more Banner helped his effectiveness. Did not realise Hulk shuts down reason completely when he fires up though. No talk, HULK SMASH!
Kandace Mavrick
14/06/2012
The Hulk in The Avengers was so much better than either version in the previous movies. Before this he was probably my least favourite of the group but Mark Ruffalo did a spectacular job. You have to give him props for being the third incarnation of the character and being the one who really pulled it out of the box.
David
14/06/2012
The Road to Hell? That’s paved with good intentions right? =)
Kandace Mavrick
14/06/2012
So I hear.
wolflullaby
14/06/2012
I like it when good characters do bad things…
Kandace Mavrick
14/06/2012
Oh really? Allow me to introduce you to my books, you’ll have all kinds of fun 😛