And Then I’d Kick Her, Sir

Posted on 30/05/2012 by


I have long suspected that Disney movies contain some kind of psychedelic distraction agent that’s particularly good at hypnotising young children. This is the only explanation I can think of for their willingness to watch and rewatch them with a frequency and enthusiasm that is, quite frankly, scary.*

And it seems I have finally gotten too old to metabolise it. In short: Anastasia wasn’t as good as I remembered.

Paul S: Best character in that: the bat. You know —
Me: Bartok? Well, yeah.
Paul S: I think it’s a Disney thing. Look at The Lion King, best characters: the hyenas.
Me: Aw, I don’t know… the hyenas are pretty awesome, but I kind of love —
Paul S: Scar.
Me: Yeah.
Paul S: Okay, but name a Disney movie where the main character is —
Me: Aladdin? I mean, obviously the genie is the best but Aladdin’s —
Paul S: What about the bird? You know, the —
Me: Okay, yeah, he’s pretty awesome, too. But Aladdin’s still up there. He’s definitely in the top five. Which is not something you can say about most Disney movies.

This is a statement about Disney, but also about the fact that Paul and I have stopped actually finishing our sentences. I don’t think it’s a problem…

Bartok the bat from Anastasia demonstrating as he announces: I'd give her a hah! And a hi-yah! And a woo-ah! And then I'd kick her, sir.

 * The only thing I’ve ever watched with quite that level of fervent repetition is Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves and it was over a two week period in which I was delirious to the point of hallucinating. I’m not sure any longer why I thought Robin Hood would help. Perhaps I just enjoyed the stability of having the same hallucinations. Or perhaps I kept forgetting what happened. Then again, maybe I simply couldn’t face going downstairs to find something else to watch. The decision-making process of a delirious twelve-year old me is not to be fathomed.

Posted in: Kandace