Browsing All posts tagged under »mad as a hatter«

This Juice is Deeply Conflicted and Will Leave You Feeling Vaguely Unsettled

March 12, 2012 by

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THAT’S LIKE GOING TO THE SUPERMARKET AND SEEING YOUR FAVORITE AISLE OF JUICE, THEN ON ONE OF THE BOTTLES THE PRICE TAG SAYS “THIS IS THE WORST JUICE IN THE WORLD, IT HAS NO CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT AND IT’S A WHORE.”   So I saw this, and skipping right over what I thought of its original […]

Telling Stories For Children

March 8, 2012 by

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I really shouldn’t tell stories to children. Even seven year olds. It’s not that the incidence of violence and mayhem is a problem. It’s the way they tell me I’m doing it wrong. Me: I’m actually a terrible storyteller, but I can frame an anecdote so it sounds even better than it actually was. Except […]

An Appeal to Anyone Experiencing Impending Parenthood

March 7, 2012 by

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Arkem: Did you know that I’m leaving tomorrow? Me: That’s very sad. (Sad face. Thinks.) Don’t. Arkem: Well played. You are a master of strategy. I am going to tell you a story. It starts here: I am officially down by one Paul. At least in terms of geographical convenience. I took him to the […]

It’s Not Christmas Anymore. That Makes This Okay.

March 1, 2012 by

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  Personally, I’ve always thought Santa was a fireman. But this documentary seems very convincing.  

25 Reasons That Writers Are Bug Fuck Nuts

February 29, 2012 by

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THIS IS ALL TRUE. Except maybe the part about caffeine. I don’t ingest a lot of caffeine. Largely because it doesn’t seem to work on me. I long for the kind of pep-inducing can’t-sleep manic energy I have seen it induce in others. But in my case, no luck. So. That bit of this article is totally […]

Because Words Mean Different Things to Different People

February 22, 2012 by

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Sleeping well is only waking up three or four times a night rather than more. Sleeping well is being able to roll over and go back to sleep at least 75% of the time. Sleeping well is not being either trashed or manic as a result of lack of sleep all the time. Sleeping well […]

Where Do You Get Your Ideas?

February 21, 2012 by

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Someone asked me the other day, How do you come up with ideas for your stories? I resisted the urge to laugh, because weirdly that’s the question writers seem to get asked the most. I say ‘weirdly’ because my instinctive response was along the line of, How do you breathe? I really have a hard […]

Not Writing a Love Story

February 20, 2012 by

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I feel like I’m accidentally writing a love story. I’m writing the story of these two guys meeting. And it’s going to be the beginning of an epic friendship. And that’s fine. That’s… dandy. But I’m at this point where they’re sort of beginning to trust each other for the first time. Where they realise […]

Nuke Them From Orbit. It’s the Only Way to Be Sure.

February 14, 2012 by

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Me: I need to stop reading about serial killers. I’m starting to dream about them. Rick: And become one. Me: What? Rick: On your blog today… Me: No! That’s totally different. That wasn’t serial killing. That was… well, one at a time, in isolation, not one after another until they’re all dead. Not serial killing. […]

Don’t Try to Prove You’re Not Drunk

February 13, 2012 by

2

Last week I started running through and editing the first few chapters of Wizards. Just a little. Just to make sure where I started and what I think I’m writing are actually the same thing. So far the editing has mostly been me thinking, He needs to be more drunk. Which of course makes me […]

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