A Child of Five Would Understand This. Send Someone to Fetch a Child of Five*

Okay, so I’ve decided that Sydney is secretly located in the arctic circle. It’s the only possible explanation for how cold my fingers are. Also the wifi password here has a distinct ‘fortress of solitude’ vibe.

On the plus side hanging out in a house with a seven year old means there’s finally someone on my side of the ‘juice is life’ debate. Now actually have the opportunity to gang up on the adults on the subject of what counts as food.

Since I’ve been here I’ve also been driven to Mars several times, went to the moon to see a drive-in movie, met a friendly Dalek, and was reduced to the size of a fairy to play in the garden. Am now watching Reptar and said Dalek learn to swim. Can only end well.

* Groucho Marx