Different Ways of Phrasing the Word ‘No’

I just wrote yet another synopsis for Path. It’s like I’m physically incapable of sending out another round of queries without rewriting the whole thing from the ground up. They’re also getting progressively darker. I feel quite strongly there should be more jokes in there. Possibly more beer. But it’s hard to sneak those things into a query letter. Also, it’s sort of true to form. The further you go in the series the more depressing the beer is and the more the jokes are leaning on the dark sarcasm and black comedy side of things. Everyone is just horribly, horribly depressed. Or maybe that’s me.

Oddly, I now take rejection letters in stride. I think my subconscious mind has become convinced that they are simply a part of the world. You send queries, and then, eventually, you get a rejection letter. They come in many forms but they’re all different ways of phrasing the word ‘no’.

But you have no idea how demoralising it is every time my computer falls apart. It’s enough to have me languishing on my couch, shaking my fist at the heavens and vast global corporations alternately, while whimpering, Why me?

Honestly, it’s very upsetting. I haven’t wanted to bang my head quite this hard against the wall since I was doing my doctorate. And then at least there were silverish edgy bits to focus on. I am completely unable to see the up side to my laptop losing it’s mind three times in six weeks. There is no up side here. This is all down side. Dark, bottomless cavern of despair down side.

It’s possible I’m exaggerating. But I have nothing else to do with my time. So I’m going to sit here and wail mournfully. Woe. Woe. Woe…

Or I could actually send the query letters. But that’s just inviting trouble. The universe would be just tricksy enough to make this be the moment one of them says, Yes, let’s chat. So I’d have to say, Er, there’s this problem where my computer just went Boom! and set my eyebrows on fire? Can I get back to you? I just — yaargh…