Do You Ever Stop and Think as You’re Leaving the House: “In Case the Apocalypse Comes While I’m Out, this Coat Won’t Be Warm Enough…”?

Posted on 18/11/2011 by


Do you lie in bed planning your day and rehearse your parents’ eulogies just in case you’re called upon to make them at short notice? Do you think about what your future self would have to say to validate their identity when they travel through time to give you advice?  Have you thought about how defensible your house will be in the case of a zombie attack? Do you think about where the safest place to stand would be in an earthquake?

Cause I do…

It’s not that I’m expecting death, or time travel, or the apocalypse. If I was I’d be better prepared. I mean, our house wasn’t built with zombies or earthquakes in mind, and if society falls apart… well, I don’t have an off-road vehicle, can’t light a fire without matches and basically the only useful skill I bring to a group of survivors is the ability to milk a cow. Assuming there are cows.

But I do know what I’d say to my past self in order to validate my identity if the time travel thing ever come up. And I know where my sword is. Although the hockey stick would probably be the more effective weapon. Come to think of it, my Æbleskiver pan would be pretty good. It’s cast iron and has great balance.

Because I think about it. I wonder what would happen if between one moment and the next everything fell apart. Probably regret that I never took it seriously. So I don’t change my coat when I have that thought. But it’s a choice. I’ve resigned myself to it. If the apocalypse comes and I’m cold, I will be responsible for that. This will be the last normal moment. You’ll remember this and wish you’d done it differently. Which is a weird thing to think when you step out of your house.

Of course the other thought I tend to have as I cross my threshold is, How many days has it been since I was last outside? So, you know, that’s probably not normal either. And if the apocalypse comes… well, my coat will probably be the least of my problems.

 Graffiti on a wall that reads: "Never Regret Anything Because At One Time It Was Exactly What You Wanted"
Posted in: Kandace, Research