This Counts as Medical Research, Right?

Tuesday

• Hospitals should not play Gray’s Anatomy in the ER. I think it freaks people out.
• Doctors petted me and stole all my blood and told me I was weird (not news).

Wednesday

Me: I have a letter from the hospital to my doctor telling her to… I don’t know, ultrasound me or something when I go see her.
Jared: Are you sure it doesn’t say to autopsy you?
Me: I hope not. It is sealed though. It could say anything. It could be a cute drawing of a bunny.
Jared: Or a love letter. From the hospital doctor to your local GP.
Me: Totally possible. My GP’s awesome.

Thursday

Doctor —> Blood test —> Eerily calm doctor on the phone telling me to come back in and get some more tests done. Today.

Me: Okay, so I’ll just… find my pants.
Paul S: Okay, I wasn’t sure if this was urgent enough to go without pants.
Me: No. He just said I should come in before four. So I have like… a whole hour to find my pants. Should it take that long.
Paul S: Should it take that long.

Friday

Take magical pill of betterness and develop the ability to fly?