Conspiracy of Microbes

Posted on 18/09/2012 by

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I feel… unbalanced. Or Wizards does.* Partly this is because I just wrote three scenes from Gray’s P.O.V. in a row (I kept shifting to Jamie and then muttering ‘no’ and flipping it) but mostly I think, it’s because I’m sick.

I’m still working (mostly) but I’ve lost my perspective. Yesterday I wrote the next chapter in the sequence. Reviewed it. Thought about it. And just… didn’t put it in the book. I will. Probably. I just have no judgement right now. I have all these blocks lined up but my brain is spoo and I. Just. Can’t.

It’s aggravating. The new parts I’ve been writing are a bit rough, but that’s just a matter of editing when my brain is in gear again. This last chapter though… This is something I wrote, rewrote, cut out, and now am putting back in an entirely different context. If it works the days I spent writing, rewriting and staring at it were not wasted. If it doesn’t I have just wasted even more time on this. (And probably will again at a later point. I want to use it. I’m just not sure how.)

This is worse than being really sick and unable work because I feel like I’m making progress, I just don’t know in which direction.

Have I mentioned that I hate being ill? And I have been good. I’ve been sleeping and running and eating, like, food and the occasional vegetable. I have no business being sick! This is just a conspiracy of microbes and I will not stand for it! Because I’ll be sitting and coughing and staring miserably at this chapter playing: it works, it doesn’t work, it works, it doesn’t work

 

* Bad sign. An unbalanced wizard is all dangerous magic and heads exploding. Usually theirs. Or, I suppose, in this instance, mine.