Paul S: Okay, so why is a duck?
Me: That’s one that’s puzzled the sages throughout the ages.
Paul S: My current theory is: what else would it be?
Once upon a time I used to watch the end of the news every day because it was on before M*A*S*H. I didn’t pay any attention, of course, but one day… well, my theory is that they ran out of news. Because they’d done the politics and theorised about sports and then they were like, Oh hey, and this…
And they put on this bit of footage from earlier in the day. I’m guessing they were out by the lake filming for some perfectly sensible reason. But what they actually filmed was ducks. Specifically a mother duck and a bunch of ducklings who were crossing the road.
So far, so good. But wait for it. Dramatic newsworthy moment coming up.
When they reached the other side, the mother duck jumped up over the curb, followed by each of the ducklings. Except the last. The last was too small so jump that high, although it did make a valiant effort.
The mother (clearly employing some kind of ESP, or possibly her ears) did not turn to look, but simply curved around to walk along the side of the road, ducklings trailing along the curb, the littlest one following along the road.
After a short walk (waddle?) they reached the bike path where the curb dipped down to meet the road..
The littlest duckling then cheerfully joined the rest, and they turned, in an orderly line, and headed for the lake.
That’s it. Ducklings. News at eleven.
Honestly. If the news did that every day I would watch it religiously.