US Government Rules that Mutants Like the X-Men Are Not Human

Posted on 01/02/2012 by

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Consciousness was a little hard to come by this morning. I was dreaming about Captain Haddock. Which is a weird thing to be dreaming about. And Japanese foot-washing rituals. And something above private school girl ties. All of which actually makes less sense now I’m awake, which is fairly impressive.

So in something of a confused daze I located my juice (if you’re trying to visualise yourself in this story you’re welcome to replace ‘juice’ with ‘coffee’, ‘cigarette’ or any other substance you like to abuse) and went and sat on the floor next to my coffee table. This is usually a very reassuring place to sit. And I found, as I had left it, my ipad (Miguel) resting against a stack of coasters. So I sat. And I drank. And I read. But the world did not become less confusing.

I am reading this ebook right now which is missing all the apostrophes. And all the quotation marks and all the em dashes. It’s really disconcerting. Strangely, missing apostrophes are harder to deal with than misspellings. Hell and well instead of he’ll and we’ll, were instead of we’re. And a certain dismaying uncertainty regarding whether a character said that out loud of just thought it quietly in their head.

And then I opened up my laptop and was reminded that the world outside is just as peculiar as the world in my head:

US government rules that mutants like the X-Men are not human (for tax purposes at least).

 A judge and a lawyer arguing, with the lawyer yelling, "They're human!" and the caption 'Radiolab... with all new action figures. X-Men Versus Tariff Law'

 

Posted in: Kandace