I Am a Drinker with Writing Problems

Posted on 16/01/2012 by


Whenever I post something on WordPress lately it tosses a quote at me along with a remark about how it thinks I’m doing, how long the post was and some pointed comments about how it would really like to be linked to every social networking site ever.

I assume it does this to everyone, that it hasn’t just decided to personally coach me because it thinks I’m pretty. The thing is though, the quote is meant to change each time you post something. At least, I think it is. Unless it’s some kind of code, fraught with meaning. Cause the quote it keeps throwing at me is:

I am a drinker with writing problems. — Brendan Behan

I’m trying not to take it personally.

I don’t have drinking problems. Well, okay, sometimes I have trouble getting the liquid from the glass to my mouth without spilling it down my sleeves or my chin or onto the floor. But that happens to the best of us. We just call it ‘quaffing’ and go with it. That’s not a drinking problem, that’s a coordination hiccup. (I do not understand why I can play the drums competently, write legibly with both hands, wield a fork with my left hand and a rapier with my right but I have trouble walking across a room without tripping over my pyjama pants, or, on occasion, standing still in a room without dropping the thing I’m holding with both hands.)

Still. Not a drinking problem. I haven’t been drinking again long enough to develop a drinking problem. Well, maybe if I’d tried really hard… But the point is — I’m not any kind of an alcoholic. So why do people keep saying it? Yes, I am regularly incoherent and will giggle at things you can’t see. Yes, I apparently have trouble standing and walking like a normal person. But that’s just… me. Clearly I should go back to the not-drinking thing and then people will go back to just thinking I’m weird.

And maybe WordPress will quit teasing me.


Posted in: Kandace