It’s K-A-N-D-A… Wait. Where Was I? A-N… Crap.

Posted on 06/10/2011 by


Is it wrong that I’ve started to think of query letters as rejection requests?

Even receiving them requires more concentration than I really want to impart. I mean, I have to read them. And they’re electronic so I can’t even set them on fire or impale them on a spike or anything. Worse than that, I have to read them carefully. Partly to ensure that any wisdom they might impart is properly implanted in my brain rather than just dismissed by the part of my head that says, ‘Rejection letter. Eyurch’; and partly because I’m vaguely afraid that I’ll be so surprised if someone says yes that I won’t notice. It’s not like I see a message from an agent in my inbox and think, ‘Aha! Someone’s interested in my book!’. I generally think, ‘Another rejection note. Bleh. Time for more research*.’

I’m oddly not at all crushed by receiving them. I was expecting to react more… I don’t know. To care more. But it’s not like any of them have said, ‘You suck, give up writing’. They’re all of the ‘we just didn’t love it enough’ category. Which I understand although it mostly leaves me thinking, ‘Can you think of anyone who would? I’ll send it to them in a heartbeat.’

I do sigh a bit when I get one, but that’s mostly just because every name crossed off takes me closer to the moment when I should send out another round of letters. Maybe I should have longer shortlists? (Longlists?) But then imagine how much more time it would take to set them up… and really that’s just rearranging the work. And giving me the opportunity to screw up a larger number of them if in this draft I inadvertently misspell my name in the part I send to all of them. (Yes, I’ve done that before. Not on anything important thankfully, but sometimes I get halfway through my name and get distracted and forget where I’m up to… Okay, now I sound like a complete idiot. That’s it. I’m going to go back to bed.)

Screenshot from "Daria" showing Trent and one of his bandmates talking to Daria with the caption 'Would it help if we spelled MYSTIC with two Y's?'

* Given the way ‘research’ and ‘alcohol’ have been conflated recently by some of my friends this sort of response could deteriorate rapidly. Especially given I usually get these messages first thing in the morning from people on the other side of the world whose workday is the middle of my night. One should not start drinking at 8am.

…and I’m back sounding like a despondent, melodramatic alcoholic. How does this keep happening?


Posted in: Kandace, Research