The Tortured Artist’s Dilemma

Today:

I woke up with a very special headache this morning. And as stabbing pain is not one of my favourite ways to start the day, I took some painkillers. They are new and different because the other boxes in the drawer were all empty. And apparently their drugs are not the same as the regular drugs. Because after a bit the headache went away and I decided it was the getting up part of morning. And it took me fifteen minutes to remember how to open my eyes and sit up.

While I was still struggling with that one a delivery guy came to the door (because they have alarming timing like that). He didn’t ask me to have a conversation so I just said, ‘Hi’ and that was okay. But then he asked me to sign for the packages, which was a little bit of fun.

After he went away Paul came in and laughed at me, and helped me unwrap the important one. Then he made me do math and tried to get me to make up a tongue twister, which I thought was uncalled for. But he also reminded me I was going out later, checked the time and reassured me the drugs would have worn off by then. Hopefully the pain will also have gone, otherwise I will have an interesting choice to make.

Yesterday:

Me: Also my brain won’t play with me.

I’m like: Words!
It’s like: Eh.
I’m like: WORDS!
It’s like: Wanna play solitaire?
I’m like: WORDS, DAMMIT!
It’s like: Oh look, a shiny thing! No? Naptime?

Rick: Do you want me to have a talk to your brain for you?
Me: Yes, please.
Rick: Okay I’ll have a chat with it when I get home
Me: Thanks. You’re the best. Sometimes the only thing to do is to call in the management.

Apparently my brain disagreed and has now gone on strike. So what do you guys think? Pain or incoherence? What’s the best choice? (And now I’m wondering if this is where the whole ‘tortured writer’ thing comes from — it’s better to live in pain in order to be able to produce your art than to live in blissful ditziness and be unable to string sentences together.)

Also, I feel compelled to point out that this entire entry may be incoherent and I probably shouldn’t be posting. So please excuse my poor judgement and possible failure in proofing. I’ll go away now.