Help Me Save the Infant Laptop

This morning I was going to write something clever, or maybe even funny, or at the very least less incoherent and probably less about ducks. I was going to raise the bar. As the bar is on the floor after the last couple of weeks of fever posts I thought this would not be hard. I am pretty sure this is why all my laptop power cables stopped working last night. They clearly thought I was taking things for granted.*

So I’m going in to the Apple store this morning to look piteously at them until they replace my cable. And, okay, to look covetously at the new laptops. Because I’m going to buy one of them on Thursday.** Which brings me to the totally vital point of this post: what should I name the new one?

I understand people spend months thinking up names for their infants, which I suppose is fair, they’re planning to keep them for longer than the average three years it takes me to thrash a laptop into the ground. I have four days, maybe a week if I decide to order it online rather than just kidnapping it from the store. So help me out?

The naming scheme I’ve used for my previous laptops has been sort of like Location-Animal. So Sky Pony, Space Turtle, Pan Narrans (Storytelling Monkey). This laptop will be something of a departure in style though, so I’m not averse to grounding a new scheme or just heading somewhere else entirely. Gimme advice, because currently I sort of want to call it Hypno Jackalope and that is kind of hard to say.

 

* And okay, yes, there are eight functional computers in my house. But two of them won’t work without my power cables and the rest of them are running Windows or Unix or something even more unlikely. So I am sleep-deprived and confused by the loudness of the keyboard I am using and the fact that it looks a bit like it belongs on an alien spacecraft of some kind.

** Which just makes the timing of this even more ludicrous. Plus, they’re going to replace the cable with a new reverting-to-the-original-dumber-design cable, which will make me sad. Not least because the old design is the kind that I’ve had catch on fire twice.***

*** There may have been extenuating circumstances unrelated to the design of the cable. I am, nevertheless, suspicious.