If I Was the Whiskey…

Yesterday one of my readers* came over and we worked through the notes they’d given me on Drink Me. I kind of love doing that in person because it gives me the opportunity to wave my arms and roll my eyes and stick my tongue out at them when I disagree. Which I think helps to express the fact that my resistance is childish in nature and not a personal attack. Also it’s fun.

We argued at length about the use of culturally specific idiom; the spelling of the word ‘ass’; and the inclusion, misuse and bastardisation of swear words. Also, for some reason, about the sartorial choices of mimes and whether it’s fair to make generalisations about them.

FF: But how do you dress as a mime?
Me: (calling into the other room) Hey, Paul, how do you dress as a mime?
Paul S.: English or French? (Proceeds to give a precise description)
Me: See?
FF: Smart-ass.

 There were also a lot of notes about commas. I leave a lot of commas out in early drafts. Really a lot. I think it’s because while I’m writing I think the sentence is going somewhere different. Or I edit and forget to take into account how altering the clauses of the sentence should be effecting the punctuation. Either way. Really a lot of missing commas.

I think my favourite was a line that was supposed to read: If I was, the whisky would be a terrible idea.

FF: But right now it reads: If I was the whisky…
Me: That would be a terrible idea too.

 

* I want to say ‘beta readers’ because that’s traditional, but this is the next stage along, so… gamma reader? Critique-giving-type person, anyway.