Time Flies Like an Arrow, Fruit Flies Like a Banana. — Groucho Marx.

Posted on 01/11/2011 by

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So time and I are having a fight apparently. Taking some space. Trial separation. It’s the only explanation.

In the last week (at least, I’m assuming it was a week, who knows at this point?) I have gradually lost the ability to recognise time at all. I lose track of what day it is (okay, I do that a lot, but not usually within five minutes of being told). I am startled by the whole sun-going-up-and-down thing. And I remember events but seem to have no ability to correlate the existence of said event with when it’s supposed to occur. Now for instance.*

Rick’s spent the last few days walking up to me and saying, “Are you ready to go?” and having me look at him blankly and say, “Go where?”

And right now I’m waiting for half an hour to pass and I keep looking at the clock to find an apparently random amount of time has passed but not yet half an hour. I’m starting to get suspicious of the clocks. Are they in on it? Or is Time manipulating them too? How can I trust it when it says its October? It was April like five minutes ago. And then it goes on about this whole 2011 thing and you know it’s making that part up.

It feels like Tuesday and Friday but my computer says Monday and so did the confusing lady at the hospital. So who knows, really?
(And I wrote this yesterday so whatever day it is when you’re reading this it’s not today, but it might be tomorrow. Or the next day. I’m just saying. So you’re not caught off guard by the whole ‘it’s tomorrow thing’. Cause I know how that can flummox one.)

 

* And then there was that thing where Paul ended up with frosting all over the side of his head. But, I guess, I can’t really blame Time for the frosting in Paul’s ear. That was all me. Well, him. Well…. Rick, actually.

Cartoon guy in suit with pie hitting him in the face

This is not a picture of what happened. For example, in real life you could make out the smiley face on the side of his head afterwards.

 

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