When You’re Offline Nobody Can Hear You Scream

Posted on 07/09/2011 by

2


Yesterday I spent the day screaming incoherently at my computer. And saying: FOR SERIOUS? repeatedly.

Girl screaming at her computer

Artist's rendering of the scene. Except, imagine it with a laptop. And, you know, me, instead of this clearly delightful if frustrated young lady.

Basically, Pan and I had something of a disagreement. (Pan is my laptop, that I love to death and spend eighteen hours a day, or more, with. Those who tell you I sit around cuddling him when not actually using him would not be called liars.) Instead of our usual fond and mutually satisfactory working arrangement, yesterday Pan decided that he would slow down to glacial speeds, crash programs randomly and ignore my increasingly frustrated attempts to fix him.

First I thought, Is it something I’ve done? Then I wondered if perhaps he doesn’t like getting up in the night and writing for hours. But clearly that’s silly.

Then I wondered if perhaps he and the internet were having a fight. He can get huffy when the internet’s not playing nicely. But no, everything on that end seemed fine.

Then I thought, Firefox? It’s Firefox, isn’t it? At this point Pan made a rude remark and crashed something again.

In the last month Pan and Firefox have been getting into a lot of fights. They used to be really close, but I don’t know. They’re both been changing as they get older and lately it’s been snipe, snipe, snipe, all the time. When they both upgraded they wanted to show off at the same time and managed to bring the whole system to a halt.

I hoped they’d be able to work out their differences but yesterday the yelling just got louder and louder and eventually I threw in the towel and went to download Chrome.

And they wouldn’t let me.

Apparently the way to get them to work together was to present them with a mutual foe.

Which didn’t calm me down any. I actually had to walk away from the computer and stomp up and down for a while. That’s right, I put the laptop down and walked away.

You understand I wasn’t feeling too steady when I came back. We’ve fought before, but it’s never come to this.

When I finally picked up Pan again we were both calmer and Firefox was being conspicuously quiet. We worked together an icy, polite silence to catch up on what we’d managed to fall behind on in the last couple of days.

And now, I don’t know. Everyone’s been quiet today. Nobody wants to talk about it. But is it going to stay that way? I mean we didn’t solve anything. Can we really go on as before, or is it time to make a change?

 

Posted in: Kandace