Fold ‘Em, Let ‘Em, Hit Me, Raise It, Baby, Stay With Me.

August 29, 2014
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First guy says to the second guy, "Wanna play Russian roulette?" Second guy says, "Sure. Got a gun?" First guy says gleefully, "Nope!" and whips out a cat. He adds, "Pet it's belly, I fuckin dare you." Second guy starts sweating.

My favourite thing to do with this song is misinterpret the lyrics and focus on the wrong parts. It’s also fun to dance to. Russian Roulette is not the same without a gun And baby when it’s love if its not rough it isn’t fun.  

Sometimes Cereal Boxes Even Have Puzzles

August 26, 2014
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Two people are sitting at the breakfast table when a third comes in and greets them. Person 3 says to Person 1, "Are you reading the ingredient list of that milk carton?" (She is.) Person 1 says, "Yep. I forgot to bring a book down and I'm too lazy to get it and I have to have SOMETHING to read, after all." Person 2 eyes Person 1 sidelong. Person 3 says, "Ah, ok." Person 2 says, "Don't tell me you agree with what she's doing." Person 3 says, "Of course not." Person 2 says, "Good." Person 3 says, "The back of the cereal box makes much more interesting reading material." Person 1 turns around, "Ooo. Can I borrow that when you're done with it?"

 

Posted in: Kandace

Not That Deep

August 18, 2014
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A forest backed by mountains. Caption reads: "The forest is deep and mysterious. Gorgeous and tranquil, if you listen closely they will tell you their secrets." A much closer image of two trees. One says, "I made out with Chad." The other says, "How dare you."

 

Posted in: Kandace

Priorities

August 14, 2014
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the circus

Posted in: Kandace

I’ll Tell You All a Story About the Joker and the Thief in the Night

August 8, 2014
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"There must be some kind of way out of here," said the joker to the thief..." Bob Dylan

All the people that you see in the night Hold their dreams up to the light …. And we are not going home    

Hard to Argue

August 4, 2014
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A peep is sitting calmly in the sun when a second peep arrives dramatically, demanding, "What are you doing? The ice caps are melting! Our politicians are incompetent and corrupt! Money buys power! The frogs are going extinct! Everything is getting worse! Why aren't you freaking out?" The first peep says, "I have a tiny moose." The first peep shows the second peep the moose. The moose goes, "Gronk?" The first peep smiles. The second peep is nonplussed.

 

Posted in: Kandace

It’s Also a Cocktail Made of Stout and Champagne

August 1, 2014
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In case you didn’t know, this song is about Elvis. I didn’t figure that out for ages and now I’m not sure why because it seems super obvious. Maybe I was just listening to the drum beat. Black velvet and that little boy’s smile Black velvet with that slow southern style A new religion that’ll […]

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